The Now Of Life

Life is hard.
My love,
the dearest man in all the world,
my soulmate
died.
Suddenly.
When I was
at
the store.
A week later,
at his wake
I had a stroke.
Three months later
my father died.
The following year,
the friend who had taken on
the primary caregiver role,
died.
The year
after that,
my mother died.
And then I found out
that my "friend"
and his wife 
had been robbing my parents
blind.
So now,
I have a house
to get through 
probate
so I can sell it
A house
of my own
that
needs
repair
and no family at all
to help.
All
dead.
It's
just
me.
My heart
is a hollow
thing
and all
that 
keeps
me here
is not wanting
to screw up
being with my beloved
again.
It's
hard.