Monthly Archives: August 2018

5

Five months. 153 days since I saw your sweet smile. 153 days since I kissed you, hugged you, had coffee with you, made love with you. Nothing is worth anything without you, baby. I miss you. I love you. I … Continue reading

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A message to well wishers

Every day, I wake up and my guts are ripped out all over again. This doesn’t get better. Every day, I wake up and say, “Damn. Still alive.” It is living in a Steve-shaped hole, and pulling the edges of … Continue reading

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Hurt

Everything hurts. Well meaning people hurt. Grief hurts. Life hurts. It all hurts. They say what does not kill us, makes us stronger. I say what does not kill me needs to try harder.

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sunset

Another bloody sky, to match my dark mood. The smoke and setting sun have turned it all to blood as the sun dies for another night. I wish I could join it. Just make everything stop. Without my baby, nothing’s … Continue reading

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you

Sometimes I think the smell of you is all that keeps me sane. The smell of you lingers in your clothes, and I keep them like the precious relics they are. They remind me that someday I won’t have to … Continue reading

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I

I am made of grief. There is no part of me that does not miss you, and every well-meaning person who tells me to get over it, that nothing lasts forever, has never lost their world, their heart, you.

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Hell

The Orthodox believe that Hell is the absence of God’s love. They are wrong. Hell is here. Hell is now. Hell is the absence of you.

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