Monthly Archives: September 2018

The Grey Havens, sort of.

And all I can think about, as I sit here, weeping in my kitchen, is that it feels like you’re in the stern of the very last boat. And I want to jump into the water, shouting Wait for me! … Continue reading

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Lost

I try to walk in the evening. They say it’s good for me. But honestly, I’m just wandering and lost. Without you my love, I am a guitar without strings, a beggar, sitting at the gate until I can enter … Continue reading

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Grief, continued…

Some people wear their grief like a coat, knowing that eventually, it will become too heavy, and they will take it off. Voila. No more grief. They tell me to do that, to take off my grief. But I AM … Continue reading

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Hole

There’s a hole in the world where you were. It’s unimaginably deep, enveloping, dark as night. I live there. I sleep there. And I will be there until you come back for me.

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Mirrors

He always said he was my best mirror, telling me that his eyes were all the mirror I needed. And he was right. But he is gone. Now my mirrors show me someone who has lived past her time, a … Continue reading

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Tell me

Tell me how your grief is like mine. You lost a boyfriend in high school forty years ago and tell me that you know about grief. Tell me how you lost your first boyfriend to police gunfire. Thirteen bullet wounds … Continue reading

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help

Everyone says they want to help. It’s not true. It’s a comfortable lie. What they truly want, is for the grief to vanish or for it to recede in the distance, like the tide… safely far away from them.

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